Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Finally serving divorce papers....

I filed for divorce about 7 weeks ago and am finally getting around to having the papers served on my soon to be ex. He was out of town for awhile, then I was, then I just got busy with stuff. We've seen each other a little bit, but it's time to move on. He is really negative toward me and is always saying mean, hurtful things about me and my family, then telling me how much he loves me, and that if I were honest with myself I would realize how happy we could be together. I just want this to be over. So today I finally sent the papers to the process server. My soon to be ex said he would sign whatever papers I would put in front of him if I would just give him the ring back. He paid me the $11,000 to pay off the credit card debt for his condo on my credit cards, but I'm still out over $24,000 that was used from my savings to pay the down payment, escrow and closing costs as well as renovations done by a friend of his. I told him I wouldn't give him the ring back unless he paid me the money back that I put in to his condo. He's really coming out ahead in this deal as the ring appraises for $12,100 and I'm out over $24,000. Do you think he's right in expecting the ring back? It's not a family heirloom, we picked it out together at a local jeweler. If it were a family heirloom I would definitely give it back to him as it wouldn't be mine to keep. I'd love to hear your 2 cents, or $12,000 worth of advice... Thanks! :)

10 comments:

Live Simply- Live Well said...

it was a gift to you. I don't think he deserves to get it back after all he has put you through.

Anonymous said...

Just an FYI....if the ring appraises at $12,000, it doesn't mean you'll GET $12,000 should you sell it. I just went down this road. I had a diamond that appraised for $25,000 (by 2 jewelers) and I went to sell it and was told (by 3 separate jewelers and estate appraisers) that the best you get is 20%-30% of the appraised value. So, you're looking at maybe $2400. Disappointing I know.

change is a good thing said...

LSLW: Thank you, I agree, it was a gift and therefore he can't have it back.

Anon: I know it's not worth the appraised value, and I don't plan on selling it, but it's a matter or principle at this point with him. I've given him enough already. Thanks for the info though. :)

Moneyapolis said...

So sorry to hear about all this. I don't think you should give the ring back (nor should you be expected to), although I don't know if I'd want a reminder of this whole ordeal.

LBC Teacher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LBC Teacher said...

I know legally the ring is a gift, so you are in the right. I guess it depends how long you want things to drag out? Though that certainly is a lot of money to be out.

Oh, and you should definitely visit Portland again! It's beautiful and so fun!

Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog said...

I think that it would have been his if the engagement was broken off, but you got married so it's yours. If that's all he wants, I'd follow through with the $24,000 deal you brought up.

Louise said...

the ring is yours, not his. It was a gift, so I would keep it. He's sounds like he is just using the ring as a way to frustrate things further.

financialfreedom said...

The ring is yours to keep.

He shouldn't ask for it.

Jerry said...

Good luck on everything going through and I hope it leads to peace for you. There's no insurance in life with your health, spouse, family or anything. Good luck and God bless for your future.