Friday, September 21, 2007

This weekend I have a baby shower to attend. I really dislike baby showers, wedding showers, bachelorette parties and the like. I am single 35 year old with no kids. I have been to countless showers, parties and weddings for people over the years, and everyone of them I have taken a gift. Now, I may never get married and I doubt I will have children, but nonetheless I always go to these parties. My question to you, is it ok to say no to some of these invitations and not send a gift? This month alone I have been to a wedding reception of a cousin I haven't seen in over 6 years, a friend's child's 1st birthday party and now the baby shower. This has been a slow month for me, I usually have at least 5 of these events per month. These things are killing my budget! My family is quite large, on my father's side, I have 52 first cousins, so you can imagine how many weddings and showers I have been to. What, if anything, do any of you do in these situations?


Escape Brooklyn said...

Hmm, I'm no "Miss Manners" but it seems to me that if you don't go (naturally you wish you could but something else came up that you can't get out of...), then you don't *have* to send a gift. Particularly for distant relatives you haven't seen in years! When I got married we didn't get gifts from almost everybody who didn't attend (and even many of the people who did), even though we'd invited only "close" friends and family.

But wasn't there a Sex & the City episode where one of the ladies threw a child-free and unmarried party for herself to help recoup the cost of all the presents she'd bought over the years? I like that idea!

shinyruby2 said...

hehe i love that sex & the city episode! I feel inspired to reply to your post.. i'm a 'lurker' on your blog, you inspire me no end, and me, like you, and single and child free while many around me are getting engaged/married/pregnant.

At the moment I'm planning my very own sisters' baby shower - I love doing it and am so excited, but there is that thought too... when will it be my turn? and, um, do I want it to be my turn? Babies, I'm not positive.

So I have - unfortunately - no answers for you but I am in the same situation! I look forward to reading other responses here : )

Kansas Simplicity said...

So some thoughts...

Kansas Simplicity said...

No really this time some thoughts...

1 - I like being a guy. None of that party, pamper chef, baby shower and other type of events! One for my side today.

2 - I did have many, many social events that I sponsored for work and stopped doing that. Why? I never had any invites back and it cost a lot of money. I did not loose any friends over this due to the fact if you are my friend, you will be my friend...not issues or conditions.

3 - For gifts and presents, I make a small donation in the name of the person in lieu of gifts with a few exceptions. Or, I buy some local honey and apples and make a gift from the farm/harvest perspective.

Life sure has become complicated with so many expectations. Social behavior always is interesting to me but focus on your goals and give the gift of conversation, time and insight as those will make a lasting impressions.

Simplicity in Kansas

SMB said...

I agree with Escape Brooklyn. It seems quite reasonable to decline due to another engagement (even if it's only a date with yourself to enjoy your free, child-free existence! :) ), and not send a gift.

finance girl said...

It is totally ok, imo, to graciously decline by saying "i am sorry i won't be able to make your "x".

No need to explain, that's enough.

It depends on your affection for the person re: sending a gift.

If you don't really know them, why bother?

If you want to continue a friendship/relationship with them, maybe put a $20 gift card in the mail for them in a card for the shower?